It's a Hard Knock Life. Or is it?

I have been very reflective lately, looking back on all the things in my life that have not been ideal. I would not consider myself a negative person by any stretch of the imagination. I try to see the good in things, give people the benefit of a doubt, and be positive. In general I think it's a much easier way to live my life. So I was thinking back over the past year at all the things that could be considered bad and wanted to give you my take on how I truly feel about them.

First is Terence losing his job back in May of last year. Having a husband who went from being employed full time to unemployed is hard. However the blessings I have seen from it have been too numerous to count. Terence has been able to go back to school to study to be a personal trainer, something he has always wanted to do. He has been able to stay home with our kids and really get to know them. That is an opportunity many Fathers do not have and he has loved almost every minute. I also know that the difficulty that we have experienced in finding a job for Terence comes from the fact that the right opportunity has not presented it's self yet. I know that when it is right we will know and the pieces will fit into place.

Second is me being a working mother. My schedule is busy, my house is a mess, it's hectic, I feel like I never have enough time for anything. When I'm at work I am thinking about home, when I'm at home I'm thinking about work. The other side of this coin is that I am so very blessed to work for Microsoft. If there was ever a company that was accommodating to working mothers this is it. I have a flexible schedule and am able to come in early in the morning which leaves me more time for my kids in the afternoon. I also have the best benefits in the world! There is nothing like the peace of mind that comes from knowing if something happened to someone in my family they are 100% covered. Microsoft is a very family friendly company and if I have to spend time away from my kid’s everyday I'm glad that it's at MS.

Third is my miscarriage. I have not written anything about this because I really don't know what to say. It's been painful; there have been a lot of tears. I do however feel very blessed and know that this has been a trial given to me for my benefit and learning. I was very blessed the day that I went in for my ultrasound and found out that it was not a viable pregnancy. I know that Heavenly Father had prepared me for that news before I received it. Although it was hard to hear it out loud the ultrasound had just confirmed what my gut feeling had been telling me for days.  I am grateful for this tender mercy. This pregnancy has also been a blessing because I think it has made both Terence and me realize that we do in fact want another baby, maybe not soon but for sure in the future. And if for some inexplicable reason we are never able to have another baby then I am still incredibly fortunate to have two healthy, smart, handsome, big brown eyed boys. That’s more than a lot of people can say.

The last week the song Count Your Many Blessings has been running through my head a lot.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done. …

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.